"You enjoyed the chasing more, didn't you?"
"Chasing is fun, yes, but this, when it's officially us, is the real deal. Why would I like to be the one chasing when I can hold your hand and pull you closer?"
One of the many conversations we have every other day. "You don't miss me, do you?" The need to be reassured, this is what distance does to you. You crave, you resist, you hope, you sink, this is what distance does to you. Ask an engineer what distance is & they'll throw a formula at you. Ask the people who're living in a long distance relationship & they'll tell you there's absolutely no formula. It's a trick shot, some miss some hit. No one really knows how?
We've known each other for more than half a decade now & it's clear that we're absolutely incapable of leaving each other alone. December of 2013, with the chill in the air and miles away, we turned to each other for warmth. I still remember comforting her in the hope that things will be just fine, we'll skype every now & then, we'll still have a life, we'll be okay. A year down the lane, I don't know how much of it's true. We're more in love than we were but we're not okay. We facetime almost every day but we're not okay. We're still alive, but we're not okay.
Why? Why can't we be just another regular couple? Why can't we tug into bed & watch a movie together? Why can't I surprise you with flowers waiting for you by your office? Why can't we dance around in Vegas? Why can't we lie down by the beach & just stay? Why can't we drive to eternity? Why can't I lie in your lap while you read your favorite book? Why can't I touch you? Why are you so far? Why am I here when you're not? Why?
I know this is a path we both chose. I know I shouldn't be cribbing about it when I already knew that we'll be 13,000 kms away for 11 months every year. I know I should've thought it through. But you know what, this -whatever we have 13K away- is still worth it. She, is worth it. I write because I hope that someday she'll be all mine, not bound by speed, time or distance. I write because for now, that's all I can do.
"Chasing is fun, yes, but this, when it's officially us, is the real deal. Why would I like to be the one chasing when I can hold your hand and pull you closer?"
One of the many conversations we have every other day. "You don't miss me, do you?" The need to be reassured, this is what distance does to you. You crave, you resist, you hope, you sink, this is what distance does to you. Ask an engineer what distance is & they'll throw a formula at you. Ask the people who're living in a long distance relationship & they'll tell you there's absolutely no formula. It's a trick shot, some miss some hit. No one really knows how?
We've known each other for more than half a decade now & it's clear that we're absolutely incapable of leaving each other alone. December of 2013, with the chill in the air and miles away, we turned to each other for warmth. I still remember comforting her in the hope that things will be just fine, we'll skype every now & then, we'll still have a life, we'll be okay. A year down the lane, I don't know how much of it's true. We're more in love than we were but we're not okay. We facetime almost every day but we're not okay. We're still alive, but we're not okay.
Why? Why can't we be just another regular couple? Why can't we tug into bed & watch a movie together? Why can't I surprise you with flowers waiting for you by your office? Why can't we dance around in Vegas? Why can't we lie down by the beach & just stay? Why can't we drive to eternity? Why can't I lie in your lap while you read your favorite book? Why can't I touch you? Why are you so far? Why am I here when you're not? Why?
I know this is a path we both chose. I know I shouldn't be cribbing about it when I already knew that we'll be 13,000 kms away for 11 months every year. I know I should've thought it through. But you know what, this -whatever we have 13K away- is still worth it. She, is worth it. I write because I hope that someday she'll be all mine, not bound by speed, time or distance. I write because for now, that's all I can do.
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